You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
