just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
