im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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