My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
