i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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