giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
