i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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