I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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