please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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