guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
