Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
