you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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