hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
