So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
