I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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