So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
