Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
