I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
