I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
