We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
