thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
