do herpes really smell.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize