thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Who died my cat blue again?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
