the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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