Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
