porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
