he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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