but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
