I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
