Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
