When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
