Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
tell me about the fingering
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