so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
