dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
