just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
