my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize