have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Ketchup is God's man juice
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
