Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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