Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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