Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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