I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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