My nipple is on Facebook.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
