I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
