i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
