I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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