ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
