had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
