i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
