Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
