Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
