thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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