Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
