He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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