I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
