I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize