True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Randomize
