what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
