yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Randomize