I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
