I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
