There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
