i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I pour the whiskey from now on
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
