Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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