I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
