smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
