I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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