Don't you send me to vm
Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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